客气

Broken down, 不客气 is just 'not' plus 'polite', which sounds like you're insulting someone. It's actually a set courtesy formula, so the meaning lives entirely in the situation. When someone says 谢谢, you fire back 不客气 — that's the standard 'you're welcome'. But when you describe a person or a conversation as 不客气, it means they dropped the ceremony and spoke plainly. In the story, family at home 说话不客气 — they skip 您 and 请 because they're close, not because they're rude. Same three characters, two totally different social jobs. “家人、朋友关系好， “谢谢”、“您”、“请”太客气， 在家说话不客气， 可以不说“您和请”。” (With family and close friends, saying 'thank you', '您', and 'please' feels too formal. At home, we speak casually, so we can skip '您' and 'please'.) ── [《谢谢您请》](/read/thanks-for-treating#s14)

礼貌 measures etiquette — saying thanks, lining up, not slurping your soup in public. 客气 measures distance — not pushing a guest to eat more, not making someone feel they owe you. A well-behaved kid is 有礼貌. A guest who keeps turning down your food is 太客气. You can be perfectly 有礼貌 and still not 客气 at all, because the two words track different things. If you mean 'well-mannered', grab 礼貌. If you mean 'formal, keeping their distance', that's 客气.

Saying 他客气我 sounds as broken as 'he polite me' does in English. Chinese wraps the person in 对 first, so it becomes 他对我很客气. Think of 对 as aiming a polite attitude at someone, like pointing a spotlight. Same frame gives you 他对老板特别客气 or 你对我太客气了. Once 对 is locked in place, 客气 behaves like any other describing word and you're safe.

不客气 is the default button you press after 谢谢 — it's the Chinese 'no problem'. 别客气 means 'don't go to any trouble', so it fits when someone offers you tea, food, or a ride. Swap them and you won't sound wrong exactly, but you'll sound slightly off, like replying 'no worries' to a wedding gift. 不用客气 is the soft middle ground that works for both. Match the phrase to the social move in front of you and you'll sound local.