v.
to be sorry; to let someone down
对不起
Common Usage & Traps
- 对不起，我迟到了。 — Sorry I'm late.
- 对不起，打扰一下。 — Sorry to bother you.
- 对不起，我要走了。 — Sorry, I have to go now.
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对不起你 (as a casual 'sorry to you')对不起。As a quick apology, 对不起 stands alone and takes nobody. Glue a person onto it and you change the meaning to blame: 我对不起你 means 'I've let you down.' Save that for when you actually hurt someone.
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我很对不起真对不起 / 太对不起了 / 很抱歉很 doesn't usually sit in front of 对不起, and native ears find it stiff. People say 真对不起 or 太对不起了, or jump to a different word entirely: 很抱歉, 非常抱歉.
Why does saying 对不起 after bumping into someone on the subway feel way too heavy?
Sorry for a tiny bump is 不好意思. 对不起 means you actually did something wrong.
对不起 owns real fault: you were late, you broke something, you forgot a promise. 不好意思 is the soft social bump: squeezing past, interrupting, asking a favor. Bump a stranger and say 对不起, and you sound like you ran over their dog. Natives just say 不好意思 or 不好意思，让一下。 Keep 对不起 for moments where you genuinely owe someone an apology.
| Dimension | Natural | Avoid |
|---|---|---|
| Bumping into a stranger | 不好意思。 | 对不起。 (sounds like a confession) |
| Squeezing past on the subway | 不好意思，让一下。 | 对不起，让一下。 (way too dramatic) |
| Late to a team meeting | 对不起，我迟到了。 | 不好意思，我迟到了。 (too casual for the boss) |
| Asking a coworker for a favor | 不好意思，能帮我一下吗？ | 对不起，能帮我一下吗？ (reads as guilt) |
What actually happens when you stick a person right after 对不起, as in 我对不起你?
Bare 对不起 takes no person. Add one and it means 'I've wronged you.'
Standing alone, 对不起 is a fixed apology and nothing gets glued onto it. But the same three characters can also act like a real phrase meaning 'to let someone down.' So 我对不起你 is correct Chinese, and it lands heavy, like 'I've failed you.' Parents, bosses and close friends use it when they truly screwed up. For a normal sorry, just say 对不起 and stop talking. “对不起，我们要走了。” (Sorry, we have to go now.) ── [《你喜欢看老电影吗？》](/read/do-you-like-old-movies#s19)
| Dimension | Natural | Avoid |
|---|---|---|
| Small everyday apology | 对不起，打扰一下。 | 对不起你，打扰一下。 (you just announced blame) |
| You truly let someone down | 我对不起你。 | 我对不起。 (dangling — failed who?) |
| Owning a mistake at work | 对不起，这是我的错。 | 对不起你，这是我的错。 (weird and over-personal) |
Can you say 很对不起 when you want to say you are very sorry?
很对不起 sounds stiff. Say 真对不起, 太对不起了, or switch to 很抱歉.
真 and 太 are the words that crank 对不起 up: 真对不起, 太对不起了. Notice 太 usually wants a 了 at the end to close the phrase. 很 in front of 对不起 is the part people copy from English, and it sounds like a translation rather than speech. For a formal or written apology, drop 对不起 entirely and go with 很抱歉 or 非常抱歉.
| Dimension | Natural | Avoid |
|---|---|---|
| Light spoken emphasis | 真对不起。 | 很对不起。 (stiff, translated) |
| Blowing it up | 太对不起了。 | 太对不起。 (feels unfinished without 了) |
| Formal or written apology | 很抱歉。/ 非常抱歉。 | 非常对不起。 (native ears pick 抱歉) |
Appears in Stories 3 stories
Real context sentences across different daily scenarios and graded readings.
Before you start learning Chinese, master the most important phrases: greetings. This short dialogue shows you how to say hello and goodbye, and how to respond politely.
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对不起 对没关系！
This playful HSK 1 poem twists words you already know and asks how an hour can be small. Read it aloud and laugh; a fun way to practice Chinese.
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高兴高不高，不对 对不起 。
In this dialogue, two people chat while waiting outside a cinema. You'll hear common phrases for talking about hobbies, sports, and movie preferences.
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对不起 ，我们要走了。
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